on pain and postings

I said when I started this that it wasn't my favorite thing to do, talk about my pain. 

I still avoid it.  

But when I looked into my own eyes a short while ago, I thought " why do I look so unhappy?", oh, yes... the pain.  sigh.... 

I have been in a flare of varying degrees for a week now.  Today started out not so bad, but the pain has increased as the day has progressed instead of perhaps lightening.  

And yet I am determined to cook dinner, the dinner I had planned.  I hope it does not cause me more intense grief, but I know I am pushing myself.   

I have already put off longed looked forward to visits from my family, and that only brings it's own kind of pain.   I am putting them off no more.  If tomorrow I suffer, so be it. I will cook, and I will see my beloved family, even if only for a short visit.  They brighten my day in many other ways, and sometimes the pain is less while they are here.  I just hate it when I can't hold my grandson.  

Wishing you all pain free and joy filled days...

MaryBeth