Sunday, September 12, 2010

Family Pain

Why is it, that family will let you down repeatedly, promising to help you with do things you are physically incapable of, then act like they are the wronged ones when you actually expect them to show up and help??? 

My heart is ripped out once again.  It's just too  much pain... physical pain I can deal with, but this?  It truly makes me want to give up.  I can't do it all alone, I don't ask for big things, only small ones, at the most a few hours of not constant work at the most, digging holes for a few plants.   

One of the joys of my life, gardens...  the other would be family, it still is some of them... a beautiful grandson and granddaughter, and my daughter in law... They find time for me, ASK if there is anything they can help with, I try not to ask her for help too often though, because I don't want to be a nuisance.  But others?  Asking them for ANY help is too much!  It would take away from the gaming time to help, and oh my! That is MUCH more important than I ever could me, no matter what they say, because if it wasn't so, they would MAKE time to help me at least once in a while.   They will come over IF I don't need help with anything and it is just for a visit, but if it is even hinted that I need help, they are always either too busy or too tired.  

I am very grateful that I have aids who come in and help with my home things, or I wouldn't be able to keep my home like I want it, I know I would not have help from blood... 

Sometimes I fear the pain will get too great and overwhelm me... it has come so very close before....  I pray for healing and I pray for strength...

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